Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Catch Up

Once again I have been MIA from the blogging world for a few months..... to catch up ... Christmas came and went without a hitch, traveling as usual. The only hiccup we had during the trip was our sweet little puppy Smokey Joe decided he needed to jump out of our car....while the car was stopped of course... ut that didnt aide him from breaking both of his front legs. Yes you heard me right BOTH of his front legs.Nice... poor thing still 4 weeks later is still our skater boy through the house because his legs still are broken. Not to mention the fact of practally having to sell a kidney for the vet bill.... Man vets are way expensive....Anyway off that tangent. January has came and went, pretty much uneventful.... I am nearing my graduation from college.. WOOHOOO its about darn time, in April. So thats awesome... followed by the kidos spring break. I am so ready for warm weather and to have a better idea of how our life is going to be.... Lover pants is due for orders in the summer so we will have to see where this road takes us.

So thats a brief catch up of how the last few months ....

Monday, November 29, 2010

christmas card

With Love Chartreuse Christmas Card
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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Deployment Survivor! WHOOO HOOO!

Amber @ Goodnight moon is doing a blog link up for Deployment survivors!Wonderful idea! Deployment is one of the hardest things known to man so surving is a triump! Thanks Amber!

Grab the button! :)

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

boo boos backpacks and lots of runny noses

Hello all!

Sorry I have been MIA again... Things here crazy..... School have began so i now offically have a 4th grader a 1st grader and a preschooler. Not to meantion I have one playing soccer, one in karate and one in tumbling. All 3 kidos attend different schools. ALthough this may sound like pure chaos to some... (which it is) it keeps CLint and I busy and leaves little time for sadness to take its place... August once again has been a challaging month for me... I am knee deep into my classes currently, Aubrie has been hacking up a lung since coming home from TN, Now i am hacking both of my lungs, as well as Andrew having a fractured bird finger thanks to big sister Aubrie and her handy dandy flying barstool. Kylee is Sick now, we have a Cat 4 hurricane headed into our vacinity ...(which after living in the panhandle for 3 years I dont underestimate these freaking storms) .....Its finally hit me that everything with my Father in law really did happen and it wasnt a dream. ...better yet a night mare... I have tryed my best to be strong for everyone .. that i pretty much was in denial my self... ugh... i hate grief... I HATE YOU grief, i would love to punch you in the face... I just feel like i am on a marrigo round of bad happenings that I cant get off of. Many of you arent aware but my love was injured a few yrs back he hurinated a disk in his back.... it never got any better. Now after another MRI we found out that Back surgery may be in our near future... as well as that D word that I hate so much... So moma needs a break.... a MAJOR break from reality.... for real...

so there ya have it..... <3 my month....please September be Kind...

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Learning to live again...

Everyday ... everyday we are learning to live our new lives.... well when you hear "new" it almost sounds exciting and new......well its nowhere near... but the fact is these are the cards we have been dealt... so now we are trying to find our new way....
Since being back from TN, we have had alot of changes in our lives, other than the MAJOR change we just endured. My love has switched units at work, which changes alot about our lives itself. When my father in law passed I hit a bump in the road with my school so it pushed me back a few months for grauation, but again.... we are learning to accept the things we cannot change... so with school, there ya go.
A new development is that 2011 is going to be a challenging year.... I am bracing myself and for all the things the year will be throwing at me alone as that damn "d" word approaches.

I just want to flash back... back to June the 30th 2010, when my biggest worry was what oufits the kids were going to wear on the 4th of July... when my family was happy,healthy,ALIVE, and well..... we were all HAPPY.... HAPPY...a word that seems so foreign at the moment... a word that has a new meaning now... and that I think my defination of "happy" changed that day forever... I want MY life back....my life where my love is happy and whole and eager about the future... where my kids were whole and happy and carefree kids, where my mother in law was working and enjoying life, my father in law was healthy happy and so full of life... this will never be again...hes gone... hes gone and it has forever changed all of us. My father in law was more than an inlaw to me... he was my dad too... an d i miss him terribly... and i know the rest of the family does too... I just feel like we are on a mary go round of bad events and i feel like i cannot get off.

I am a worry wort and I want to fix everything for everyone that I am close to... I want to take all there pain away, I worry about my family becuase this ugly little thing called grief... is an ugly ugly thing, I worry about all of my friends whose loves are deployed, becuase this time last year I was alone and my love was in a far away land, so i remeber how lonely and nerve racking it was, but these ladies have it 1000000X worse than I did. I want to stretch my arms as wide as the BIG sand box and keep each and everyone of them safe and sound and get to witness first hand that priceless moment of seeing the love of your life "GET OFF THAT BUS"... but i am pissed... I am PISSED... because every day more and more I am reminded that I cant protect everyone I love, from death, pain and despare... and I freaking hate it...

I want to be NORMAL again... I want it all to just go go go away....

Friday, July 23, 2010

so many changes....

SO once again I have been MIA for weeks, I have been reading blogs, just really been at a loss of what i could blog about. The month of June seemed to fly by getting things ready for big sister to go to TN, getting settled back in from being in TN, getting ready to go to TN again for the fourth of July for a quick weekend, as well as preparing for a big change in our lives... little did we know the REAL MAJOR life change that was headed our way.

On June the 28th I called my dad and told him happy birthday, and that I wouldnt be there for long but I was super happy to be coming to see him and my mom as well as Clints Parents. Clint talked all week about being super excited to get to go home and spend the weekend with his dad... even if it were just for a few days, it was worth it in Clints eyes for that time with his dad. Clint is very very close to his dad.

So I spoke with my mother in law two nights before we were heading to TN, about C's new deployment schedule, and then I talked to his dad about it.... I told them both I love them, but not to tell CLint... I wanted him to be able to tell them, but I told so I could brace them for what he was fixing to tell them...

So Thursday July the 1st was a normal Thursday,..... hubster was at work getting things ready to go on leave for the weekend, and I was running to the grocery store to get a few things to cook an anniversary dinner for my love since we would be out of town on our actual anniversary. July 5th.

On thursday afternoon I got a call that I have always feared, "Todd has passed away, come quickly, call and tell Deana and Robby, as well as CLINT.....I argued with the woman on the phone informing her there was a mistake, My Father in law was young and invinsable it seemed this could NOT be Todd.... CLINTS TODD, MY TODD, MY Kids PAPA TODD... No way no how....Clints aunt countines to reasure me it was true. I lost it ... We were coming home tomm... .so we could see them TOMM!!!! I collapsed in the driveway as i am talkig to clints aunt because i couldnt breath and could not bealive this has just happened. I called B ( the bestie) and immediately took the kids to her house.... I am rushing to clints work... which of course the 12 minutes it takes to get there felt like an eternity, in the mean time driving to clints work to tell him becuase i refused to over the phone... you cant tell someone their hero there world there person is gone over the phone... but i had to call his sister and brother.... those were the worst phone calls i have ever had to make in my entire life.

Finally I get to clints work walk right in and hes white as a ghost,his mom had called in while i was on my way..... he was crushed.... so i get him home go on a turbo packing spree and we are TN bound,,, by no means for reasons that we wanted... the next 2 weeks were a major blur, we went thru the motions but it didnt feel real. Here we are at 3 weeks and it still doesnt feel real, now we are home in NC, preparing for clints job change, as well as his twin sister leaving Monday for over seas for a year... There are WAY too many changes going on...

Todd will forever be missed, he was a wonderful father, father in law, Husband, grandpa... so now we are taking in day by day to try to cope, but its difficult

Sunday, June 27, 2010


So Im very sorry for being MIA for so long... the last couple of weeks have been rather uneventful, since my last post, My oldest daughter went to TN to spend the summer with her dad, :( i Miss her like crazy, but at least time is going by and shes having a blast with my parents as well. Also since my last post my best friends hubby headed off to the sandbox, and it really hit me. I tagged along to take some pictures for her of their parting and i never not once thought or hesitated to go, she is my best friend and as close to me as family of course I am going to be there with her and her kidos and her hubby, I love them all soo much, but I never realized at that moment why I would break down, but I did. I didnt want her to hurt that way, ad it all hit way to close to home, at this time last year my love headed to the sandbox, and our next tour was coming WAY too quickly. anyway... enough of that hard crap, since then we have filled our days with pool days, going to the beach and all out just enjoying the HOTT freakin weather here.. I mean come on... I like it to be warm and all but this is ridiculous...
In the mean time my internet has been practically out the entire month of June, so i have had way too many of the little charter guys here, as well as crazy amounts of standing water underneath my house... ugh... so not enough matience men have been out.(gotta love base housing) also we had a freakishly crazy storm where my drive way looked like a boat ramp *&* my wooden swingset was hit by lightening and is no more...
On the bright side looks like the hubster is moving to a different command WOOHOOO :) cant wait for that ... hopefully this is the move thats whats needed for our family at the moment, as well as getting away for the 4th of july weekend :) and then weekend with some old friends at the end of the month :) The Rumseys and there sweet babies were stationed with us @Quantico way back when we were all newbies to the Good Ole Marine Corps life, and we have remained close since and learned the ropes together.. In 2005 my love and I got orders to FL from VA and not long afterwards the Rumseys moved to KS so we were WAYYY far apart, now finally fate (and the corps) have put us all back on the same side of the US, so this will be the actual first time we have see them in 5 yrs :) I sooo cant wait.. I love them, you know how in this military life you meet friends that when you move away you are like what was i thinking and you never talk again, but then there are those that truly become family and you stay close... Well the Rumseys are family to us...:) so lots and lots to look forward tooo :)