Holy Crap... this IS real....

Well it looks like "that" time is approaching again faster than I am quite ready for.... deployment time.... *sigh* didnt I JUST do this.....?!
Lover pants finally got back into my arms in dec and its soo hard to realize I already know and plans are already having to be made for the next one...:( I have tryed to prepare myself since he got home telling myself he was going on the deployment so it wouldnt hurt sooo bad, when i found out for definate it was true... its so sad to think about .... damn deployment... why cant the world be happy and safe and our husbands would be nothing but toy soldiers... :( so not the case....

I thought I was ready for this and the whole darn cycle of deployment emotions... Im not... not in the least... im going to miss him like crazy... im scared and sad and..... I just dont know.. i am overwhelmed... and sad at the thought of within 2 years I would have spent 1 full year without the love of my life... I dont care what anyone says... its SOOO hard being mom AND DAD ... and a fulltime student, and the soccer mom... and every other title i seem to fall under...

I am rapidly finding my self back in the funk i was in last year before he left... luckily we still have time together to make precious memories that will help us through the next monnths... I made it through the last year with some wonderful ladies who were going through the same thing as me... I am surrounded by wonderful people as well as my very best friend who will be going through the exact same thing around the same time frame... so I am sure there will be many good days together as well as many crying nights...

I love you B we can do this..... <3

Sorry guys... its all hitting me at once... its real... its REALLY real